Forgiving…Me

Just about 18 years ago, someone said something to me that really set me back.  I had been going through a rough time, was making mental progress, and then they said something that made me feel like a nothing again.

All these years I’ve felt two things about that event –

1. Regret –  I just wished the event hadn’t happened.

2. Frustration – I have always been frustrated that I didn’t have the skills to do better.  When that bomb exploded in my head, a mental block happened and I didn’t follow through on a promise.

Today I found out that someone is dead – like, not here anymore, but long since in heaven – dead.

It suddenly occurs to me that all the regret and frustration won’t help anyone and I’ll never be able to relive or fix that moment.

I have long-since forgiven that poor woman with the misspoken words, but I now need to forgive the immature, hurt person that I was.

Why am I still carrying all this stuff around anyway?

Release, Renew, Rejoice.

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5 Responses to “Forgiving…Me”

  1. Bobette Says:

    I totally know what you are talking about. My “person” is still living, yet I’m struggling with the situation….it just happened this year… and how to deal with it. There’s blame, regret, sadness both for me and towards the other person. I don’t want to be in your shoess… they are gone and I’m still dealing. Thanks for your words of wisdom… it helps to know how to move forward.

  2. Rosie Flathers Says:

    You inspire me to seek to guard my heart and what comes out of my mouth. I pray that I have not inadvertently knifed someone with my words and left them wounded and scarred for life. Who knows maybe someday some one will be dancing on my grave:) That tongue is the most difficult beast to train.

  3. Jeanine Says:

    Forgiven by God is truly forgiven!

    You and I carry around all that ‘stuff’ partly because the enemy of our souls want us to – and we believe his lies!

    Sometimes it helps to find a physical place, and make an ‘event’ of giving this once and for all to God. Perhaps write down what you are doing, along with a date, and especially one or more Bible verses, to carry along in your mind (& purse?) Then whenever the enemy tries to repeat the offense into your ear, you can remind him clearly that as of that specific time and date, you have been forgiven by God! Remind him of promises like I Jn 1:9 Remember God’s promise there?

    Those of us whom God has made free are free, indeed!

  4. Vicki Stafford Says:

    I do believe that GUILT is a woman thing. We tend to take the world on our shoulders whether we need to or not. Someone says something or we say something and we react or said something without thinking. Then we stew about it in our heads. I do agree Jeanine, to give the guilt to God. Otherwise we don’t get a good night’s sleep, and we lose our connections to the people we need to stay connected to, because we allowed GUILT to get in the way.

  5. kimmartinezstayingfocused Says:

    Rosie – I have done the same thing – reflecting on how my words can do damage without my meaning to. I really need to be more positive and less negative. Thankfully, I have a passel of younguns who holler at me if my words are too negative. It helps.

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