Talking to Myself and Finding a New Perspective

What do you do in times of trouble?  When the world seems to have spun off its access, and you aren’t sure what comes next?  In times of conflict or stress, we all have one of two tendencies:  fight or flight.

Those who flee will tend to run away – sometimes physically, but most often emotionally.  We will do everything that we can to get rid of the feelings of stress – eat, escape into a book or TV, ignoring the problem…the list is long.

Those who fight on the other hand, seem to do well with adrenaline – they might use their words, lose their temper, move great mountains to get things done.  One of the less obvious ways of fighting is to be a ‘figurer outer’.  We will tend to analyze the problem from morning to night, anticipating every possible solution, hoping we can make it go away!

The really creative people are those who manage to combine the two stress responses.  When they face a stress that is just too great, they might stir up trouble in another area of their life in order to be able to channel the adrenaline into something they feel they can conquer.  Or they might start a new project, giving themselves a productive outlet for all that pent up energy.  (I can really do a lot of cleaning when I’m avoiding something!)

Fight and flight are built into our makeup, and have their purpose.  But when we are driven by feelings, and don’t respond out of love, neither of these is healthy for us, or our relationships.  When we are in stress, we have to find a firm rock to stand on in the midst of it.  That rock is Jesus.

How do you handle stress?  How do you really turn things over to Jesus?

Not very long ago, I got to that point where I needed to again assess – am I just complaining, or am I really expecting God to work?

I have discovered over the years that sometimes I get to the point where I pray for other people, but fail to pray for myself.  I need to sit myself down and determined to talk to God about things every day – not just about other people’s things, but about my stuff.

After a year of job rejections, statistics tell us that as many as 8% of the population have just given up.  There is always more than one way to look at a situation.  I believe this time in history is a chance for us to restore our foundations and get ready for our next time of building.  Every time of rebuilding has to be preceded by a time of demolition, cleanup and restoration of the foundational structures.  Sometimes you wonder if you are going to get squished under the rubble.  This is a time to find encouragement and a new perspective.

David learned to encourage himself towards God in times like this:

Psalms 42:11

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Psalms 27:13-14

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Encountering the Unexpected

When life messes with you, how do you keep from curling up in a ball and becoming something you aren’t?

At some point in life, we all hit a wall of the unexpected – and not the good unexpected.  What we do in these times will often determine the course of our lives.

1.  When the unexpected is your own failures:

Think about Peter.  He messed up entirely and Jesus reached out and drew him in.  Then Jesus sent the Holy Spirit, and under this fresh anointing, Peter was transformed into the bold man we see in the first part of Acts.  Ask God to call you to Himself and remake you fresh and new.

2.  When the unexpected is lack of resources:

Think about Gideon.  God uses you best when your resources are dwindled down to the point when you know you have to depend on Him.  Ask God to release His resources so you can do what He has called you to do.  Jesus promised in John 13-15 that if you ask for what you need to do what you were called to do, He would make sure you have it.

3.  When the unexpected is emotional turmoil:

Think about Daniel.  Daniel was pulled from his home at an emotionally sensitive age, probably his early teens.  Then he was put in a culture that was very different than his own.  He maintained his stability, strength of character and thrived in this difficult time by use of the spiritual disciplines.  Draw near to God.  Ask Him to reveal Himself to you.  He will sustain and transform you.

Change isn’t easy, and each ‘turmoil’ is change of some sort.  We hit a point where the future doesn’t look like the past, or where our next steps aren’t marked out for us.  In order to walk where we can’t see the stones, we have to have faith like Peter who walked on the water – ask God to call you to Himself, then keep your eyes on Him as you walk through the tumultuous waves of life.

There is a song:  My deliverer has set me free.  You are free to walk in victory despite your circumstances.  God created you for a purpose, and He will help you walk in that purpose.  Obstacles are opportunities for growth if you let them become so.  No matter your turmoil or obstacle, God will use it to work things together for your good and your development into the person you were created to be.

In all turmoil, remember Joseph.  He kept a great attitude and leaned into the adversity, and in the end, he saw God fulfill the dreams that were in his heart.  There had to be times along the way where he thought his obstacles were too insurmountable – but God turns all things around for His purposes.  Lean into Him and find His deliverance.

Staying Course in the Emotional Storms of Life

In the middle of transition – no matter the cause -  you feel like you are in a boat, at sea, in a fog, with no instruments.

Suddenly, when other people talk, it feels like they are targeting you.

Days are endless, and the emotional pain can be so intense it is almost physical.

In the midst of this chaos, you need to maintain your primary relationships.  Yet these relationships are usually also affected by your crisis.  Their pain is also deep, and they are also floating at sea in a fog.  Their pain is also intense and hurting people hurt people.

Here are some tips:

1. If it’s everybody else, it probably is you.  We never want to believe it, but when even the guy at 7-11 seems to be again you, you need a break.  Everybody might not be against you this week – you might just be defensive.  Consider taking a mental break.

2.  Laugh often, laugh together.

3. Take care of the details – don’t let the details in life overwhelm you – just do them.

4.  Take time to just be with the ones you love.

5.  Let others know where you are at.  Prayer makes a different.  You need people who can lift you up.

6.  One day at a time.  Every valley has a beginning and an end.  This one does too.  Keep walking.

Here are some verses to hold onto:

Isaiah 43:1-3

¹ But now, this is what the LORD says …
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

² When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

Psalm 23:4

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me.

Psalm 27

5 Reasons to Give Up

1. It was a bad idea to begin with.  Sometimes we just mess up and start wrong.  Do your best to ascertain bad decisions early because false starts can be discouraging.
2. God tells you to.  Sometimes He sends you in another direction and it rarely makes any sense in the short run.
3. You are too much into yourself.  If your priorities have been messed up, hopefully God has given you a mirror to show you the flaw.  Let Him fix it.
4. You are exhausted.  Consider Elijah in 1 Kings 19.  His head was going in circles and he couldn’t figure out which way was up.  He was mentally and spiritually exhausted.  He needed to be refilled and he was too exhausted to even realize it.  He just ran toward the Mountain of God and God met him on the way.
5. You want to stop growing.

Okay – I’m not sure there’s ever really a good reason to give up, but sometimes we really do need to back up and wait for another angle of approach to show itself.  Often we need to take a break, crawl into God’s lap and ask for His perspective.

Life isn’t easy.  You will have times that you hit a wall.  If you quit, you will never find the answer. If you back up and wait, you will find new solutions.

Elijah waited in a cave and God showed up. Join me in 1 Kings 19

¹¹ The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. ¹² After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

¹⁴ He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

Elijah was seriously dejected.  God showed up (in Spirit, presumably).  He says – ‘come outside, I’m coming to visit in person.’  The the world shook apart, blew like a tornado and swarmed with a fire storm – but God wasn’t in it.

If you are in an earthquake, don’t give up.

If you are in a tornado, don’t give up.

If you are in a fire storm, don’t give up!

Can you see what’s next?  God comes in person.  In a sweet, small whisper.

Elijah got the directions for the next phase of his life.  Earthquakes, tornadoes, firestorms – they all feel like reasons to give up.  But if you stick it out, you get the refreshment and direction you need for what comes next.

Did the Dream Die?

Have you ever felt disillusioned and felt like giving up?  There is a story in Genesis 37-40 that I want to look at with you.  Joseph really amazes me.

First, we find Joseph having a dream.  Two of them, actually.  Here’s the first one:

“Listen to this dream I had:  We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.”

Here’s the second one:  “I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.”  (Gen. 37:6-7, 9)

God gave him amazing dreams.  The next thing we see is Joseph, in the bottom of a well, being sold by his brothers into slavery.  Can you imagine his thoughts on that long walk to Egypt with the slavery traders?

“Man, the wrong person is bowing here.  My sheave seems to have been burned.”

“What was I thinking?  I must have drank waaay too much of dad’s secret stash the night before those dreams.”

Or maybe he was more hopeful. “I don’t know how God is going to fix this one, but the sun, moon and stars are in Egypt too.”

Well, it wasn’t long before things started looking up.  He was a servant in Potiphar’s home and rose to the top of the ladder.  Maybe he would find a way to go home.

Just when hope was about to really take root in his heart, Potiphar’s wife accused him of rape, and he ended up in prison.  There is really no way out of prison.

Now, here is really amazing part.  Joseph had been sitting in prison just about long enough to lose heart when two people come in and have dreams that need interpretation.

Now, let’s review Joseph’s position:

• his dreams he believed to be from God had proven themselves bankrupt – not once, but repeatedly.
• every time things started to look up for him, they got worse.

Yet, when he comes across two dejected men, he immediately believes that God will give him the interpretation of their dreams.  He kept hope against all hope for all those years.  Not just that God would show up someday, but that God would use him now.

In fact, over about 12 years, he kept enough hope to be able to stand before Pharaoh, in boldness, without warning.  You can’t stand as a leader if you are riddled with doubt and fear.

When life is piled against you, follow Joseph’s example:

1. Do what you can.  Joseph always put his hands to work.
2. Look to help others.
3. Believe that God will show up – probably when you least expect Him.

Inflight Emergency Procedures

You are in a plane, cruising at altitude.  Suddenly, something happens and the plane loses a 3×4 piece of siding right by your seat.  What happens?

Well, as previously established, science isn’t my strong suit.  However, in the movies, everything goes flying out the hole due to the pressure differential. 

There you are, flapping in the breeze.  Everything is flying around you.  Your carry-on with your checkbook, phone and laptop hook onto your foot, your kids are in the row in front of you – you can hear their shrieks. 

Your spouse is on this plane somewhere – they were last seen headed to the rest room.   How do you keep from flying out into space? What do you grab on to?  How do you save what is important?

In the movies, the hero or heroine holds onto something solid *before* the big blowout.  OR they claw their way to something solid and hold on for dear life afterward.

Does life ever feel this way to you?  Are you tempted to try to grab for control of all the areas, hoping to salvage something?  What would happen if you grabbed for the bag, or the kids right now, as you flap in the breeze?  Fly away Betty!

What are you holding onto?

Listen to what David said in Psalm 27:

⁴ One thing I ask of the LORD,
       this is what I seek:
       that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
       all the days of my life,
       to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
       and to seek him in his temple.

 5 For in the day of trouble
       he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
       he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
       and set me high upon a rock.

 6 Then my head will be exalted
       above the enemies who surround me;
       at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
       I will sing and make music to the LORD.

 7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
       be merciful to me and answer me.

 8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
       Your face, LORD, I will seek.

 14 Wait for the LORD;
       be strong and take heart
       and wait for the LORD.

God is your solid.  If you hold onto God, and ask Him to take care of everything else, you will find that He has it all under control. 

Put first things first, and the rest will fall in line.

From Endless Waves to Calm Seas

Mt. 14: 22-33

 This is one of my favorite passages of scripture.  NOT because Peter walks on the water (although I like that part), but because of these three verse: 

 ²²Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side

²⁴but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

³²And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.

 Here are my thoughts:

1.  Jesus sent them into the storm.
2. They were rowing furiously, going nowhere fast.  They’d been rowing for a long time – it was the fourth watch of the night – and they were still rowing against wave after wave.
3. Sometimes, God’s activity is scary, and often it comes in the middle of our day to day survival activity.  Jesus was walking on the water, but he scared the disciples half to death. 
4. This was a growth/faith opportunity
5. It looked like a death opportunity
6. They had to hear God’s voice in order to know the difference.
7. Jesus set the whole thing up to give them a new, life-changing, faith-stretching (new-brain-pathway-creating) experience.  When His purposes were accomplished, the wind died down.

 Know this:

 No matter your situation, God is the Lord of the waves.  Look for your faith-stretching, new-brain-pathway-creating opportunities in the midst of the chaos.

 The One who created you will continue to grow you.  He won’t take you out on the lake to drown you.  He will see you through.

Cracked Pots needing GRACE

Stress causes weird things to happen.

For example, I’ve crashed my car twice in the last two months – just the fender, but still…

During times of stress, the fender benders of life are sometimes in our relationships. It is important to sprinkle those we love with lots of grace.

God, help me to see others the way You see them, and not through my eyes. What I see isn’t always the whole truth.

Relationship comes before reaction. A lot of times, I just want to react to someone’s actions. In times like that, I need to be careful not to damage the relationship – to wait and not react. Remember the fender bender? I was running into things not because I was a bad person, or because I meant to, but because I had other things going on in my head.

Allow space. People who are under stress need space – no hovering. They just need to know you care, and are available when they are ready to talk.

Create times of joy. You need to laugh. It will reduce stress considerably.

Expect, beg, plead for God’s intervention. You can’t change things, only God can. None of us can make it through more than a couple seconds without God’s help. When you have friends who are going under, pray for them – pray for God to do a mighty work on their behalf – and expect God’s activity.

Why God chose to have relationship with us is beyond me, but I am so grateful. By ourselves, we are a bunch of broken vessels – cracked pots actually – but with the oil of the Holy Spirit and the creativity of the Father who makes all things new, Cracked Pots become beautiful pitchers and vases for His glory.

You are precious. You were created for God’s purposes. He wants to breathe life into other people through you today.

Fear of Failure

Do you have a problem with fear of failure? Hopefully the following will help you:

It’s not about you. God has put you on this earth. He is the one who gives you the abilities, and lack of abilities that you have, and He is the one who calls you to His purposes, and every day He puts challenges in front of you that you get to attempt.

If you can do it on your own, then why would you need God? Anything worth doing is going to have a chance that you will do it badly.

You are God’s anointed person. If you serve Him, He has anointed you to the work He has called you to.

You can face all circumstances in faith, you can have the courage to face failure as just a part of life – if you know who your source is, and you really understand in your heart that you aren’t perfect, can’t be perfect, and are in fact growing and changing every single day from now until Jesus comes home. You are either changing and expanding, or changing and shrinking.

People who let fear of failure stop them actually begin to shrink as people – their sphere of influence gets smaller and smaller until they are a circle of one. People who know that failure is part of success find that their sphere of influence grows every single year.

“Achievers are willing to vary their approaches to problems” (John Maxwell) – Sometimes we fail in life because we have a set way of approaching things, and if our way doesn’t work, we get stuck. Edison said “I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” – and then he invented the light bulb.

Winston Churchill said: “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”

Sometimes, the failure that we have is in relationships. We find that people are fun until we have conflict. When we have conflict, we don’t know how to deal with it, and we walk away, run away, or fight. Instead, we have to learn to walk through conflict.

Years ago, I developed the saying: “If it’s everybody else, it’s probably you.” One day I became aware that everything coming out of my mouth about my life was negative. At times like that, I step back and look. My perspective has been skewed, and I have begun to interpret other people’s actions in a negative fashion towards myself.

Now what does God think about failure?

1. Your idea of success probably isn’t God’s.

He told Abraham he would make him the father of a nation – but Abraham couldn’t manage to get Sarah pregnant. Sarah was pretty sure it was her fault, so she had Abraham sleep with Hagar. Ishmael was born. Sarah must have thought – Yup, I was a failure, but I figured out a solution. God said – that wasn’t success. I had a better plan, and we are still going with it.

2. Other people’s idea of success probably isn’t God’s.

Joseph was supposed to be in charge of his brothers – but he was a snot and they didn’t like him – he landed in slavery, then again in prison. It would have been easy to give up on a dream. To see oneself as a failure. But Joseph wasn’t a failure – all of his hard times were part of God’s plan to put him where he needed to be when God needed him there, and the Children of Israel were saved from starvation because of Joseph’s ‘personality failure’.

3. A real definition of success is one who leans on God.

In the reading for tonight, Gideon saw himself as one of the least – as a failure – but God saw him as perfect for a job that required someone who would lean on Him.

4. If you are going to live every day full on for God, you are going to make mistakes.

Peter was brash. He was brazen. If anyone was a winner, it was Peter. Then he sunk while walking on the water. Jesus’ response? “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” Then he rejected Jesus three times. Jesus’ response? The angel told the women (Mark 16:7) “But go tell his disciples AND PETER, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.” (emphasis mine) Then, on the day of Pentecost, Peter was used magnificently to preach to the crowds, and 3,000 were saved – yet Paul later called him out for duplicitous behavior.

To live a life of fervor means living your life out loud. If you are going to make a mistake, at least make it loud. On the other hand, you are wise to wait, and only move when God is telling you to move. The trick is that when God tells us to move, the fear of failure is often overwhelming, because we know just how much we can’t do – and that is why we have to be anchored on the Rock.

God sees you as you are, and as you can be. His view of you looks through the lens of a creator.

Knowing who you are, and Whose you are gives you the power to walk when God says walk, to wait when He says wait, and to keep going when you messed up. One thing we also gain is the ability to let other people walking with us make mistakes too.

So, like I started out, it’s not about you. It’s about doing what God has called you to, when He asks you to do it.  We are powerless, He is powerful…let’s ask Him to do it.

Life Beyond the Fiery Furnace

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that things aren’t quite right?

We all get it from time to time.  Maybe your kid is out late and you can’t reach him or her on the phone.  Maybe transition is in the air and you can’t see past the end of today.

This time of year is big for transitions, and fear can either help us walk through them with grace – gaining the blessings and avoiding the pitfalls; or it can stop us in our tracks.

Here are five things to do when you feel that overwhelming feeling:

1.  Determine the cause.

If your house is on fire, your fear is real.  If you are just frozen with the fear that there might be a fire, then you might be fighting unrealistic fear.  Real fear gives us the adrenaline and sharp senses that we need for a crisis.  Fake fear is debilitating, and burns out our adrenal glands.

2.  Find a way to process your fear.

Either talk about it with a friend or journal about your feelings.  Years ago, I led a women’s bible study.  I had been out of ministry for some time, and going back into ministry took a real tole on me.  Every night after the bible study, no sooner would our car leave the church parking lot than I’d be overcome with dread.

• “I talked too much.”
• “No one wants to listen to me”
• “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

Thoughts like these rolled through my head, giving me a whole-body panicky feeling.  I had a friend who had agreed to be my partner for the bible study, and every Thursday morning I would call her with my feelings of fear and dread.  She would talk me down, and I’d get ready for the following week.

Finally, after a year, I realized that she had been saying the exact same words every Thursday morning for a year.  The problem I was facing was in my head.  I decided to make that fear stop.  Instead of calling her, I took what she had been saying, and started saying it to myself.  Within a couple weeks, I no longer left the meetings in a panic.  Fear had almost debilitated me, but instead, I became much stronger.  I couldn’t have done it without my friend.

3.  Do it afraid.

I think I first heard this from Joyce Meyer, but ‘do it afraid’!  Whatever you are afraid to do, do it anyway.  The worst of it is already going on in your head.  Don’t let your body give into what your brain is telling you.

4.  Know scripture and know God.

God will bring scripture to your mind.  Make sure that you are in the Word.  Also, make sure that you know God well enough to hear His voice.  He can speak to you in the middle of really difficult times and help you keep going.

5.  Expect an end.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednigo (the three friends of Daniel) faced King Nebuchadnezzar when they chose to follow God and not bow to the idol.  They faced their fear by choosing to go through the worst, even if the worst happened. Daniel 3:16-18 gives their approach to this life and death situation:

“O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter.  If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we service is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king.  But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

They determined to go ahead and stick to their guns, even if it meant their death.  Here is the interesting part:

It wasn’t until they went through the mouth of the furnace that they found God’s redemption.  Can you imagine?

Shadrack whispers to Meshach as they watch the soldiers making the furnace seven times hotter, “Surely God will save us, we are standing up for Him.”

“Yeah, there should be an earthquake about now”  Meshach bends his knees a bit, anticipating a violent quake.

The soldiers pick them up, and toss them into the furnace.  Abednigo suddenly lets out a holler, “Dude!  Did you see those guards fall over dead?”

All of  a sudden, the three who were thrown into the furnace find themselves sitting on the floor of the furnace.   They look at each other, stunned. “Hey, my hands are untied.  What about yours?”

Getting up, they notice ‘one like the Son of God’ walking around with them.  Their hearts are encouraged;  so much so that Nebuchadnezzar had to tell them to come out of the furnace.

Are you facing devestation on all sides?  Sometimes you have to determine to go forward no matter what.  There are times when we don’t see God’s provision until we have passed through the mouth of the furnace – but in the end, we come out ‘not even smelling like smoke’.  Why?  Because we serve the God of the impossible, and He deals with the realm of faith.

“Without faith, it is impossible to please God.”  Today, I want to encourage you to walk in “no matter what” faith.

I don’t know if God has called you to a task, or you are just walking through a deep valley, but God is the God of the impossible, and all things are possible to him who believes.  Even life beyond the fiery furnace.